Monday, May 19, 2008

The year that Shannon died, I saw the Lord

Situations.

Situations can change everything about your life, particularly bad situations, where hope seems to fade daily. Our pastor once told us that God will speak to us either by using a burning bush or a burning house. How sad that some people have to experience the pain of a burning house for them to see the Lord.

I have floated through this life with my eyes fixed on Jesus, but still continually being distracted by everything around me. When situations seem to overwhelm me I would lose focus of Him. I would begin to be consumed by my situation and how desperately hopeless it is. When the Dr. told me on the phone that he couldn’t help us anymore and we needed to see a specialist to have a baby, I lost my focus. I remember feeling as if the world was collapsing on my head and all my dreams were being thrown into the trash. I argued with God, citing His miracle-working powers and questioning why He wouldn’t touch us in this area. It took losing Shannon for God’s ultimate mercy in this situation to be revealed and for me to realize how truly good God was to me, even when I lost my focus.

There is an amazing story in 1 Kings 19:11-12. Elijah was feeling an intense desperation and he was starting to lose his focus. The passage says “Then he was told, ‘Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by.’ A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.”

As I look back on the different circumstances that surrounded my life, I begin to see how God was trying to work on my heart. I mistook our struggle with infertility and Shannon’s death as God trying to speak to me…trying to wake me up. But in truth it was the gentle whisper after the dust had settled that has spoken volumes to my broken heart and awakened me to see the true and intense glory of God. It took a burning house, for me to see the burning bush and to hear God’s whisper.

This past weekend our pastor had a message that I believe was tailor-made just for me. It was based on the passage in Isaiah 6:1 where Isaiah saw the Lord.

“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple.”

Isaiah was giving us a reference point of where his life was when he saw the Lord. He was giving us the historical marker that revealed the biggest moment in his life. Our pastor discussed how we each have a tendency to remember where we were when certain things happened in life. He referenced 9-11 and said that we probably all remember where we were when we found out it was happening. I remember very clearly being in the elevator at ECU and someone talking about the planes that were hijacked. I remember more clearly the fact that I was skipping history class that day, when one of the biggest moments in history was happening at that very moment.

At this point in my life going forward I will always remember the year I saw the Lord. The year I clearly saw the Lord and recognized all His glory and power. The year that Shannon died I saw the Lord. I have found a contentment and peace that can only be described as wonderful. I feel an awakening.

This is my charge to you. My challenge. Try to see the Lord when He is calling to you. I don’t know what your specific situation may be or what struggles you are going through. I don’t know if you feel like you can’t go on and that you are slowly dying on the inside. I don’t know if you feel like you are overwhelmed beyond the point of relief. But whatever you are going through, try to rest in the knowledge that ultimately, God is in control. And this may very well be your season in life where God is calling out to you and asking you to listen to his voice. This may be YOUR year to see the Lord.

posted by Sarah W @ 9:38 AM  

3 Comments:

  • At 1:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    What a great word Sarah. I too got a lot from the message that Pastor gave us yesterday. I have been praying a lot lately for the Lord to open my eyes to the destiny set before me. I really want to be where He wants me to be and what He wants me to be. Thank you for sharing your heart with us...I always look forward to your blogs because I know that I will receive words of knowledge from it.

    I love you...Mamma

     
  • At 11:54 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    You dont know me, but i had Shannon as my praise team leader at Brookhill a long time ago! You have really inspired me through your writings, and in seeing how strong you have become throughout your journey. Thank you for your words.

     
  • At 5:12 AM , Anonymous Daria said...

    Great work.

     

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