Sarah (pron. Say `Ruh) (n) def: Queen of Lynchburg, Tetris Master, Diva, Dreamer.

Tomorrow my love, we would have shared 5 years of a beautiful marriage. The last 6 months I have had mixed emotions trying to figure out how I actually feel...and this is what I have come to realize.

I loved you with an intensity that I cannot describe in human words. My heart and soul miss you tremendously and I feel an overwhelming loneliness around me when I think of being here without you.

I look forward with great expectancy our reunion in heaven one day, and I am comforted in knowing that you are exactly where you always wanted to be, in the presence of our God, our Father, our Papa.

I appreciate you for all the beautiful, wisdom and humor that you brought into our relationship and how you rescued me from myself and from an endless pit of sorrow that I was falling into. You brought a sense of purpose into my life, I took care of you because God brought you to me (I took that quote from your favorite movie - The Four Feathers)...I love you with all my heart and I miss you.

So tomorrow, as I am doing what you loved to do, camping on the Blue Ridge Mountains, and looking at God's beautiful creation, I will think of you and remember each and every sweet memory of ours with an amazing Joy and an attitude of peace of thanksgiving that God gave you to me.

Happy Anniversary my Love. I miss you and I always will...

September 1st. Its been 6 months since Shannon died. Overall I am doing well. However, a guess as a tribute to this anniversary date, I had a very weird dream, which I am beginning to think has some encouraging/prophetic things in it. Here goes...

The dream started out with the familiar Shannon in the hospital. Another Lazarus-Shannon dream. I walked up to him and he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. This time I wasn't jumping at the opportunity to tell him about all the miracles his death produced, I just looked at me and slowly said "Shannon...I've missed you". He began to get up and made a comment about hugging me/making out when he started to feel better. He then went to take a bath and I followed him to help him out, and he just sat in the tub and the whole scene faded away. The next thing I knew I was backstage at a concert wearing an amazing dress...almost like a ball gown. There was a christian band doing a song and someone ran up to me and asked if I could improv along with them behind the curtain on the song "Come Thou Fount"...I did, and I remember it was in the key of D. I played it perfectly and remember running from the piano, almost in slow motion and my dress just flowing all around. (Here comes the prophetic part of the dream) I then remember sitting the office of our Augusta branch of VanderMorgan. I was wearing a gold locket around my neck and I opened it up. It showed my name and birthday, another name and birthdate, and a small circle w/ some tiny things in it. I looked up and there was a man in front of me, in the dream he was my fiance and the necklace was my engagement "ring". It was my name and birthdate etched into and his. And the other circle contained a miniature sewing kit.

I woke up. But I began to question the necklace. A necklace that represented my engagement to another man and a miniature sewing kit. And I asked myself, what do I think about when I think about sewing...mending things, fixing things, etc. And it hit me.

This relationship will mend my heart.

I don't know if this was a word from the Lord or what, but I felt like on this anniversary date I needed some reaffirming that my time is coming. That my season of restoration is coming. I have felt so very alone and really questioning if I will ever meet anyone else. I have missed Shannon and more so his friendship/companionship lately more than ever. Its been days when all I needed was a hug, and there hasn't been one to find. But I think God is reminding me that my time of mourning is being turned into my time of joy, and its coming.

I just thought it was cool...