Monday, January 21, 2008

Sarah Vs. the Treadmill Beast

On Sunday my family got together for lunch at my moms house. After feasting on baked chicken, rice, green beans, and the most unusually shaped corn bread (mine looked like a fish), we gathered around the TV to watch my newest favorite movie “Kickin’ It Old School”. James went off to Lowes to fix the bathroom toilet and after the movie Amanda, Chris, Shannon and I decided to try to break dance. So we cleared the living room floor and gathered around trying to do head spins and funky dance moves. Mom came in and immediately yelled at us and said for us to do that stuff in our own home. So we all sat down and became bored, so the jokester that I am decided it was time to get on the treadmill and exercise.

I made the offbeat comment that I would like to try to run on the highest level possible on the treadmill. Shannon is shaking his head at me saying “Sarah, you will fall off and hit the cabinet and break all your moms eggs”, Mom said “Sarah don’t do that you’ll hurt yourself”, and Amanda & Chris, my caring, compassionate, and loving sister and brother in law were chanting “Do it! Do it! Do it!” So I decided at that moment to risk broken limbs and embarrassment and run on the highest level of the treadmill.

So, I clipped the safety strap to my pants, which would unplug and stop the machine if I fell and I balanced myself and got ready for the run of my life.

I started slow to “Warm up” and planted both my hands firmly on the sidebars of the machine. With one quick whoosh, I flicked the switch all the way up to the highest level and began my run. There was nothing funniest than my nubby legs going back and forth like a cartoon character on the treadmill. I figured that I could keep running at that pace if I distributed most of my weight on the bars of the treadmill.

I felt like a queen. I was running like a real athlete, amongst the cheers of my family (and mom screaming “you need to stop Sarah!”). And then it hit me…my hands were frozen, my legs were tired and I couldn’t move anything to make the machine stop. I started screaming “SOMEONE HELP ME!!!” Shannon sat there absentmindedly just staring at me, not connecting what I was trying to get done. I kept screaming for help, Amanda and Chris kept laughing, and mom jumped up with lightning quick speed and complete horror in her eyes as she imagined me falling off and crashing into her Egg-cabinet. She flicked the button of the machine off and I sat there almost wetting my pants laughing, and so was everyone else…we all were laughing so hard we had tears in our eyes.

The comments after that were “Sarah, I didn’t think you could do it”, Moms comment: “You really scared me when you couldn't hold on any longer. I didn't think I would make it there to turn it off in time. I was impressed that you could stay on as long as you did.”
And that is the story of how I tamed the Treadmill Beast.

posted by Sarah W @ 11:36 AM  


  • At 5:05 PM , Blogger ilovestargate said...

    hahahahaha that is the funniest thing i've heard all day.
    that is amazing.

  • At 9:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    You absolutly crack me up!!! The funny thing is I could picture the entire thing! You have made my MONDAY worth it just by sharing that story! I'm glad to hear that you tamed the beast!

  • At 9:35 AM , Blogger somecallmejust said...

    this is ridiculously funny


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